In the wake of the Bali bombings, the Australian Foreign Ministry as well as its counterparts in Britain and Germany issued warnings to their citizens about the potential dangers of travelling around South-East Asia. The warnings included Thailand with Phuket and Pattaya given a red star. Despite the warnings I personally believe Thailand and Pattaya are essentially safe places when compared with many other worldwide destinations. That said, so was Bali.
Time once more to start potting balls: The popular Monday night Pool Competition featuring a multitude of gogos and beer boozers kicks off again on November 18. Anyone interested in finding out about participating bars and venues can contact Kevin at the Bowling Green in Soi Drarin.
Dance little lady, dance: The onset of high season now brings with it a new tourist attraction called the dance contest. This involves a number of gogos, primarily based in Walking Street, getting together and hosting a contest at a selected venue every two weeks or so. A number of nubile young damsels from each bar front up in the hope of being adjudged the best on the night and thereby pocketing a bucketload of cash. Now, the lesser lights are hoping to cash in on the idea and the Spicy Girls Too chrome pole palace (down in gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1) will play host to a dance contest on Thursday night November 14. At the time of writing I don’t know how many dens will be participating, although Emergency (Pattayaland Soi 2) looks a certain starter.
What’s Up? Oi, the well-known and personable boss of the Frozen gogo in Soi Diamond opened her latest venture, the What’s Up chrome pole palace on October 4. Located opposite the increasingly-popular Nui’s gogo in Soi 15 (the dog-leg lane before Soi Diamond if you are coming down Walking Street from Beach Road), What's Up is an innovative operation and worth a look. The inside of the play palace looks like the gizzards of the MIR space station, very futuristic. So much so that Ridley Scott could probably do a sequel to Blade Runner in the joint. The lighting is bright enough to determine if the dancing maiden you fancy has had a bad acne day. Once again Oi has been innovative with regard to the dancing outfits. The maidens wear tight miniscule denim shorts and tops while the serving staff are in a red PVC ensemble (courtesy of Boutique Sexy) that owes its origins to something like Star Trek...’beam me up, Scotty.’ The music is what Derek from The Clinic terms ‘car alarm’ while alcoholic libations range from 5 baht for bottled amber fluid to 115 baht for liver wasters. Happy hour is between 7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. with a two for one offer.
Chubby Checker must be doing cartwheels: The word on the street among regular gogo aficionados is that the Peppermint play palace (Walking Street, next to Marine Disco) has twisted its way into the Number One chrome pole position on the dancing maidens starting grid here in Fun Town.I have to say, from my own humble observation, that the position is thoroughly deserved. The den has gone from being somewhat of a lemon just a few short months ago and been transformed into probably one of the most vibrant and visually stimulating joints in Pattaya. The creation of an inside beer boozer is an absolute stroke of genius, with the damsels serving up the liquid refreshments in a state of some excitement judging by the number of bodacious uncovered ‘headlights’ on show. With the draught amber fluid being flogged off at 45 baht all night and happy hour from 7:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. when standard liquids retail at 30 baht, it may well hold its position at the top of the tree for some time.
Where in the world: Just how many testosterone-charged males who visit our little dot on the map happen to be married or in long-term relationships back at home, wherever ‘home’ may be? Judging by the number of anecdotes that reach my tender ears, the answer is ‘a lot’. Recently a group of six men hailing from the Antipodes came and spent 10 days or so pretending to be modern-day Vikings, you know, raping (not literally of course), plundering and pillaging through the beer boozers of Soi 8 and the gogos of Walking Street. And just where did the trouble and strife’s think they were? Game fishing around the Great Barrier Reef in northern Australia. In the Spicy Girls Too gogo (Pattayaland Soi 1)- which celebrated its second anniversary on Saturday night November 2- I met an English gentleman whose wife thought he was on business in Turkey. I’d hate to be him if he ever returned home with an undetected dose down in the Dardanelles.
If you can’t beat ‘em: With almost every other gogo in Walking Street offering some form of happy hour inducement or discount prices on a few libations, one of the few holdouts, Pretty Girl, finally succumbed and is now offering 50 baht draft beer.
It’s Showtime: The former Blackout gogo (Walking Street) re-opened as Living Dolls Showcase, a sister chrome pole palace to Living Dolls and under the same ownership, on November 1. The old joint has been gutted and re-modelled and manager and part-owner Captain Picard tells me the plan is to have proper choreographed shows every night. If the opening night efforts are anything to go by, then the chrome pole palace should prove a success. The dancing damsels managed to wriggle, writhe, gyrate and cavort to a packed first-night crowd which seemed appreciative of their collective efforts. Looks to me like they’re going to go through a lot of soap and water every night. Drinks aren’t cheap with liver wasters at 110 baht and lolly water at 95 baht and I have a feeling the place may take customers away from the original Living Dolls. Time will tell.
Open, closed and changed:
The Cat beer boozer on Central Pattaya Road, opposite Nova Lodge, has installed two small pool tables and tarted up the place in the run-up to high season.
The Pig & Whistle munching den in Soi 7 has now opened up its back entrance, located in the small soi running between 7 and 8.
The Prince 2 beer boozer in Walking Street, opposite the Horn Bar, has closed up shop.
The Far East Rock gogo (Soi Post Office) has been closed for renovations and my spies tell me (i.e. the girls out front of Club Nevada, just across the road) it will re-open around November 16.
After underage boozers and illegal substances were found on revellers, the Tony’s late night boogie barn (Walking Street) was closed by the authorities and Tony was told to go and stand in the corner and face the wall. The place is to re-open on November 7.
The Renoir’s munching den’s (Soi Day Night 2) daily special has been increased from 199 to 249 baht. Given that the special includes a salad bar as well as a soup starter with bread, main course, dessert and choice of coffee or tea in air-conditioned comfort, it is still good value.
Polo, the newest late night boogie barn on Walking Street, has reduced the price of its bottled amber fluid and liver wasters to 120 baht. Lady drinks are also 120 baht.
Kiss Food and Drink has opened a nosh outlet on Soi Diana on the site of the old Bavaria House II.
The Winchester gogo (Walking Street) has closed its doors for the time being while management decides on a new course of action. I’m told the joint will re-open for business around December 1 and may undergo a name change.
Does anybody remember J Fox Kitchen? Located above Soi Diamond it closed its doors some years ago, but now an gogo going by the name of Big Willies is to open on the site on November 8. The place is the new operation of at least one of the former owners of Blackout (now Living Dolls Showcase) but I can’t help thinking they’re not only going to struggle because of the location, but also the name. For me, Big Willies is a rather priapic name, giving rise, if you’ll pardon the term, to thoughts that it might be a pink palace rather than a distaff factory. However, I’m assured it will only be females caressing the chrome poles.
Final Thoughts: "There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes Benz 380L convertible." -PJ O'Rourke